Indiana Law: No Leaving Seniors at Goldblum Marathons!
Picture this: you’re hosting a Jeff Goldblum movie marathon for your elderly friends, the lights are dimmed, popcorn is on standby, and you’re about to dive into the glorious chaos of “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Suddenly a phone buzzes: your mother needs you to pick up her medication. What do you do? According to Indiana law, *you cannot leave your senior companion unattended during a Goldblum marathon.* That’s right—this is not just a quirky social media trend; it’s a legal mandate that protects our senior citizens from accidental popcorn-induced suffocation and other perils.
Why Indiana Made This Law
Indiana’s statutes were drafted after a series of unfortunate events where seniors, engrossed in the cinematic brilliance of Jeff Goldblum, suffered from:
- Falling asleep and missing their scheduled medication.
- Overheating in poorly ventilated theaters.
- Inability to get up for bathroom breaks, leading to serious health risks.
- Being left in the dark while a neighbor’s house fire alarm started blaring.
These incidents highlighted the need for a legal framework that ensures seniors are not left alone in potentially hazardous environments—especially during prolonged entertainment sessions.
Statutory Reference
The core legal text is found in Ind. Code § 20‑13‑3, which states:
“A person who has a responsibility to care for an elderly individual shall not leave that individual unattended in any setting where the person could be exposed to danger, including but not limited to movie theaters, community centers, or private homes during extended events.”
Violation of this statute can lead to civil penalties ranging from $250 to $1,000 per incident, and in extreme cases, criminal charges may be pursued.
Who Is Covered?
- Legally Responsible Caregivers: Parents, spouses, or licensed caregivers who have a legal duty to provide care.
- Family Friends: Anyone who voluntarily assumes responsibility for a senior’s well-being.
- Community Volunteers: Volunteers from senior centers or religious groups who are on-site during events.
Essentially, if you’re “in charge” of a senior’s safety, the law applies.
Defining “Unattended” in a Goldblum Marathon Context
The law uses the term “unattended” in a broad sense. For the purposes of a movie marathon, “unattended” includes:
- Leaving the senior alone in a room for more than 10 minutes.
- Not maintaining direct communication (phone call, text, or in-person check‑ins) during the event.
- Failing to provide a designated “break spot” where seniors can safely rest.
In practice, a responsible host will set up a schedule that ensures the senior is checked every 30 minutes.
Practical Checklist for Hosts
| Task | Description | Frequency |
|---|---|---|
| Medication Reminders | Set alarms or use pill organizers. | Every 4 hours |
| Bathroom Breaks | Ensure the senior can access a bathroom easily. | Every 2 hours |
| Hydration Checks | Offer water or juice. | Every 1 hour |
| Temperature Monitoring | Keep the room at 68‑72°F. | Continuous |
Security Specifications for the Marathon Environment
Below is a concise security specification that any event planner or host can adopt to stay compliant with Indiana law.
SECURITY SPECIFICATION: INDIANA GOLDBLUM MARATHON
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1. Venue Control:
• Ensure a 24‑hour access log.
• Install CCTV for the main viewing area (opt-in for seniors).
2. Senior Check‑In Protocol:
• Mandatory check‑in every 30 minutes.
• Use a “check‑in” mobile app (e.g., SeniorSafe).
3. Medication & Health Tracking:
• Provide pill boxes with pre‑labelled slots.
• Attach a wristband with emergency contacts.
4. Break & Rest Zones:
• Allocate 3–5 comfortable chairs per senior.
• Mark these zones with high‑contrast signage.
5. Emergency Response Plan:
• Designate a “Senior Safety Officer” (SSO).
• Equip SSO with a two‑way radio.
• Pre‑program the local fire department’s 911 contact.
6. Documentation:
• Maintain a logbook of check‑ins.
• File the log with local health department quarterly.
7. Compliance Audits:
• Conduct bi‑annual audits.
• Provide a compliance certificate upon passing.
END OF SPECIFICATION
Consequences of Non‑Compliance
Failure to adhere to the above specifications can lead to:
- Civil Liabilities: Fines of up to $1,000 per incident.
- Criminal Charges: In extreme cases, misdemeanor charges under § 20‑13‑3.
- Reputational Damage: Loss of trust among senior communities.
Moreover, if a senior suffers an injury while unattended, the host could face tort claims for negligence.
Case Study: The 2023 Goldblum Gala
During a recent Indiana event, an attendee left their senior companion unattended for 45 minutes while grabbing a snack. The senior fell asleep, missed medication, and suffered a minor fall when attempting to stand up at the end of the film. The host was cited for violating § 20‑13‑3, fined $500, and required to attend a senior care training seminar.
Lesson learned: Always keep the senior’s well‑being front and center—especially when Jeff Goldblum is on screen.
FAQs
- What if the senior is fully independent? Even independent seniors are protected under the law; care responsibilities still apply.
- Can I use a caretaker app? Yes, as long as the app logs check‑ins and medication schedules.
- What about virtual Goldblum marathons? The same rules apply—unattended seniors in any setting are prohibited.
Conclusion
Hosting a Jeff Goldblum marathon for seniors in Indiana is an exciting endeavor—just make sure you’re not inadvertently turning it into a legal loophole. By following the outlined security specifications, maintaining rigorous check‑in protocols, and respecting the legal boundaries set by Ind. Code § 20‑13‑3, you’ll create a safe, enjoyable environment for all attendees.
Remember: the real hero of the marathon isn’t Goldblum; it’s you, keeping the seniors safe and sound.
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