What a hell of a thing, she just retired less than 60 days ago. That’s the thought that’s been in my head this morning anyway.
No, it’s bad.
My daughter also hasn’t been in my life for years now and if she ever does come back into it, grandma isn’t going to be here. I’ve considered getting in touch some way but it’s not like it’d matter with the mental state my mother is in… and I’m pretty sure Lola’s mom would somehow make it awful and make Lola feel bad about it as it’s just who she is as a person.
Hy head is still ringing, going on week two of it. Maybe I got cancer too. I got routine bloodwork scheduled for next week to get a checkup. Blood pressure looks fine as does everything my Apple Watch can tell me. Started before all of this stress. Staying hydrated, right ear looks okay from what the doc can see. Got my ears cleaned out while I was there, was compacted.
I don’t know, maybe some sort of internal ear infection. Well, I had been stressed for a bit more all of this, the election garbage.
Sleep, or lack of it does seem to have an impact. Louder when I don’t get good hours in.
I’m on day 2 of trying to change my tobacco habits. I mixed up a 75% tobacco 25% placebo mix of my normal smokeless with smoky mountain which should net a 25% reduction in nicotine. However, I also need to keep in mind that when jacking around with moisture and PH that I could be inadvertently jacking up the free nicotine content and making more of it bioavailable overall.
But the thing that matters is a 25% reduction on the carcinogen levels. I also just had a chat with ChatGPT and it does seem the ringing in my head is indeed stress/lack of sleep induced. I’m also writing this on 5hr 22min of sleep.
So. I should try meditating and going back to sleep.