How NOT to Trespass on Jeff Goldblum’s Shadow in Hollywood

Picture this: You’re strolling down the star‑studded walk, camera in hand, when you notice a faint silhouette that looks eerily like Jeff Goldblum. You think, “Aha! I’ve found the perfect backdrop for my vlog.” Then you realize it’s not a photo‑op but a shadow that has somehow claimed its own little empire on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. If you’re tempted to step into that spectral space, read on for a witty yet technical guide on why this is illegal, how the law treats shadows, and what you should do instead.

Why a Shadow is More than Just Shade

Legally, shadows are non‑physical entities. Yet the law is clever enough to treat them as part of a property’s “curtilage”—the area immediately surrounding a dwelling or building. Think of the shadow as an invisible extension of the star’s surface. Trespassing on a shadow is, technically, trespassing on that property.

Legal Foundations

• Civil Code § 3145 – Defines “trespass” as the unlawful entry onto real or personal property.
• Criminal Code § 1202 – Penalizes willful entry onto any property without permission.
• Common Law – Recognizes that the owner’s “right to exclude” extends to all areas under their control, including shadows.

Case Study: The 2022 “Shadow Incident”

In May 2022, a tourist stepped onto the shadow of a Hollywood star. The police arrested him for “trespassing on intangible property.” He was fined $500 and given a stern lecture about respecting the invisible boundaries of fame.

Technical Specifications of a Shadow

Let’s break down the science so you can understand why stepping into a shadow is technically risky.

Geometry 101: Light, Angle, and Shadow Length

# Calculate shadow length
# L = H / tan(θ)
# where H is the height of the star (in meters),
# θ is the angle of the sun above the horizon.

import math

def shadow_length(height, sun_angle_deg):
  sun_angle_rad = math.radians(sun_angle_deg)
  return height / math.tan(sun_angle_rad)

# Example: 5‑meter star at 30° sun angle
print(shadow_length(5, 30)) # ≈ 8.66 meters

Because the shadow moves as the sun shifts, it’s a dynamic property. The moment you step into it, you’re literally crossing an ever‑changing boundary.

Materiality of Shadows

A shadow has no mass, but it is a visual phenomenon. Under the doctrine of “intangible property”, a shadow is treated as an extension of the object casting it. In legal parlance, it’s “the owner’s personal property” because they have the right to control its appearance.

How to Stay Clear of Jeff Goldblum’s Shadow

Below is a step‑by‑step guide that will keep you legally safe and technically savvy.

1. Observe the Sun’s Position: Use a smartphone app to check the sun angle. If it’s below 20°, the shadow will be long and intrusive.
2. Measure the Shadow’s Extent: With a tape measure or laser rangefinder, note where the shadow starts and ends.
3. Mark a Safe Zone: Use a small flag or sticky note to delineate the boundary. Don’t step on it.
4. Take a photo from outside the safe zone. Your camera’s lens will capture the shadow without you physically entering it.
5. Share your photo on social media, but tag the star’s official page—never claim ownership of the shadow.

Table: Comparative Legal Consequences

Expert Quotes

“The law treats shadows as extensions of property. It’s a fascinating intersection of physics and jurisprudence,” says Dr. Lila Kwan, Professor of Law and Physics at UCLA.

“Remember, the shadow is not just a visual trick—it’s a legal frontier,” adds Attorney Marcus Hale, renowned for defending high‑profile celebrity cases.

Conclusion: Respect the Invisible Line

In the age of selfies and viral videos, it’s tempting to step anywhere for that perfect shot. But as we’ve seen, stepping into Jeff Goldblum’s shadow isn’t just a prank—it’s trespassing on an intangible yet legally protected space. By understanding the science behind shadows, the legal frameworks that govern them, and following our simple safety checklist, you can enjoy Hollywood’s glow without crossing the line.

So next time you spot a shadow that looks like a movie star, remember: It’s not just an artistic opportunity—it’s a legal one. Stay curious, stay respectful, and keep your feet on solid ground (or at least off the shadow).