Patent the Art of Shotgunning a Busch Light—Goldblum Style

Ever wondered if you could legally protect the technique of shotgunning a Busch Light with the help of a celebrity cameo from Jeff Goldblum? No, you can’t. But the idea makes for a delightful exercise in intellectual property law, brand protection, and the absurdity of celebrity culture. This post is a technical specification—complete with tables, lists, and a meme video embed—to walk you through the patentability criteria, the legal pitfalls, and the comedic gold that would (probably) make Jeff himself chuckle.

1. Scope of the Document

This specification is written in a conversational, engaging style yet retains the rigor of a formal technical document. It covers:

• Patentability analysis (novelty, non‑obviousness, utility)
• Trademark and brand considerations (Busch Light’s IP portfolio)
• Celebrity endorsement rules (Goldblum’s likeness and the Lanham Act)
• Practical steps for a hypothetical filing
• A meme video embed for visual humor.

2. The Core Idea: Shotgunning a Busch Light with Jeff Goldblum

Shotgunning is the art of opening a beer by creating a hole in the side and sucking liquid out through your mouth. When you add Jeff Goldblum—who famously performed a “shotgun” routine in the 2009 film Jupiter Ascending—you get a pop‑culture mashup that is both hilarious and, theoretically, patentable. But the real question: Can you patent it?

2.1 What Makes an Invention Patentable?

The United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) requires three main criteria:

1. Novelty: The idea must be new.
2. Non‑obviousness: It cannot be obvious to someone skilled in the art.
3. Utility: It must have a specific, substantial, and credible use.

Let’s evaluate each against our “Goldblum‑shotgun” concept.

2.2 Novelty

Shotgunning itself is not novel; it has been practiced for decades. The novelty claim would hinge on the *combination* of a Busch Light with Jeff Goldblum’s theatrical style. Since no prior art discloses a beer shotgunning routine starring Jeff Goldblum, the novelty hurdle passes—at least on paper.

2.3 Non‑Obviousness

This is the real snare. A skilled bartender or beer enthusiast would immediately see that adding a celebrity cameo to a beer‑shotgunning routine is an obvious marketing gimmick. The non‑obviousness test is typically satisfied only if the combination yields a surprising or unexpected result. In this case, the outcome is purely entertainment value—obviously predictable.

2.4 Utility

Utility demands a functional benefit. Does the Goldblum style provide a new way to consume beer? No. It merely changes the *experience*. Thus, the utility requirement is weak at best.

2.5 Conclusion on Patentability

Given the lack of non‑obviousness and weak utility, the USPTO would almost certainly reject a patent application for this idea. The best you could do is a trademark or a *copyright* on the specific performance script, but that’s another story.

3. Trademark & Brand Considerations

The Busch Light brand is protected under trademark law. Any use that could cause consumer confusion or dilute the brand’s distinctiveness is actionable.

If you were to film a “Goldblum shotgunning” routine, the brewery could claim that your content infringes on their trade dress or causes dilution. You would need a license from Anheuser‑Busch or risk a cease‑and‑desist letter.

4. Celebrity Endorsement Rules

The Lanham Act protects against false advertising and deceptive endorsements. If Jeff Goldblum’s likeness is used without permission, you could face:

• Right of publicity claims—Goldblum can sue for unauthorized use.
• Trademark infringement—if his name or image is used to suggest endorsement.
• False advertising—claiming he actually endorsed the product.

The safest route is to obtain a signed endorsement agreement. Even then, the USPTO will not grant a patent for mere celebrity appearances.

5. Hypothetical Patent Filing Workflow

1. Prior Art Search: Use USPTO databases to confirm novelty.
2. Docketing & Filing: Draft a Utility Patent Application describing the mechanical apparatus (e.g., a custom shotgunning device).
3. Examination: Respond to Office Actions that will likely question non‑obviousness.
4. Grant or Rejection: Expect a rejection; consider filing a Design Patent for the device’s aesthetic.
5. Trademark Application: File for a Mark with Intent to Use if you want to protect the “Goldblum Shotgun” phrase.

In practice, you’ll spend more time dealing with legal counsel than the USPTO’s examiners.

6. Meme Video Embed

Because nothing says “technical specification” like a meme, here’s a quick visual break:

7. Practical Takeaways

• Don’t try to patent a celebrity beer routine.
• Consider a trademark for the phrase or a design patent for a custom device.
• Always secure licensing agreements—both from the brand and the celebrity.
• Use humor responsibly; avoid false claims of endorsement.

8. Conclusion

While the idea of patenting a Goldblum‑style Busch Light shotgunning routine is technically fascinating, the legal reality is that it falls flat on non‑obviousness and utility. The best you can do is protect the *branding* or the *performance script* through trademarks and copyrights, respectively. So next time you see Jeff Goldblum in a beer commercial—whether real or imagined—remember: the law is less about creative mashups and more about protecting consumers from confusion. And if you do decide to film your own shotgunning masterpiece, just make sure you have the right licenses and a good sense of humor. Cheers!