Patent the Art of Shotgunning a Busch Light with Jeff Goldblum

Picture this: you’re in a dimly lit dive bar, the neon flickers, and suddenly Jeff Goldblum—yes, *that* Jeff Goldblum—walks in with a Busch Light. He leans over the counter, pulls out his trusty bottle opener, and says, “Let’s shoot this!” The question that pops into your head? Can you actually patent the art of shotgunning a Busch Light with Jeff Goldblum? Strap in, because we’re about to dissect this paradoxical blend of intellectual property law, cocktail culture, and cinematic charisma.

What Is Shotgunning Anyway?

A quick refresher: shotgunning a beer is the art of opening it with a bottle opener and then slurping it straight out through the newly‑made hole. It’s fast, it’s flashy, and it’s a rite of passage for many college students. The technique has evolved from simple “open‑and‑sip” to a high‑speed, physics‑based performance that can be measured in seconds.

Why the Busch Light?

The Busch Light isn’t just any beer. It’s a staple of the American bar scene, known for its crisp taste and iconic 12‑oz bottle. Its design—thick glass, sturdy cap—makes it a perfect candidate for shotgunning, especially when paired with an actor who can bring theatrical flair to the process.

Intellectual Property 101: Patents, Trademarks, and Copyrights

Before we get too carried away with the theatrics, let’s break down the legal toolbox:

• Patents: Protects new inventions or processes. Requires novelty, non-obviousness, and utility.
• Trademarks: Protects brand identifiers—logos, names, slogans.
• Copyright: Protects creative works—scripts, music, films.

Shotgunning a beer is an action. It’s not a novel invention unless you add some unique twist—like a patented device that enhances the speed or safety of the process. And even then, the novelty threshold is high.

Can You Patent a Method of Drinking?

Historically, the U.S. Supreme Court has been skeptical about patenting “methods of doing something” that are purely abstract or based on natural phenomena. Think Diamond v. Chakrabarty, where the court said “natural phenomena” can’t be patented unless you add a human-made twist. So, if your shotgunning method involves a new mechanical apparatus, you might get a patent. But just the act of slurping through a hole? Likely not.

Jeff Goldblum: The Unexpected Patent Candidate

Now, what about Jeff Goldblum? He’s a living icon whose name itself is protected by trademark law. But could his shotgunning technique be patented? Let’s explore:

1. Novelty: Has Jeff introduced a new technique? If he invents a “Goldblum‑style” shotgun that uses a built‑in straw or a unique opener, that could be novel.
2. Non-obviousness: Would a skilled bartender find this obvious? If the technique requires a specific angle or timing that isn’t standard, it might pass.
3. Utility: Does it improve the drinking experience? If it reduces spillage or enhances flavor extraction, that’s a plus.

Even if all criteria are met, the patent office will scrutinize the “human element”. The court has said that patenting a method tied to a celebrity’s personality can be problematic unless it involves an invention.

Case Study: “The Goldblum Shotgun”

Suppose Jeff develops a GS-1—a handheld device that automatically inserts a straw, seals the cap, and releases a controlled burst of air to propel the beer toward your mouth. The device includes:

If this device is truly new, non-obvious, and useful, it could qualify for a patent. But the “Goldblum” branding would likely be protected under trademark, not patent.

The Trademark Angle: “Shotgun with Jeff Goldblum”

Even if you can’t patent the action, you can still protect the brand name. Imagine a line of merchandise—bottle openers, shotgunning kits, branded glasses—all marketed as “Shotgun with Jeff Goldblum.” This would be a classic trademark scenario:

• Distinctiveness: The phrase is unique and associated with a celebrity.
• Usage in commerce: Selling kits under this name constitutes use.
• Consumer association: Customers will link the product to Jeff’s persona.

Once registered, you could prevent other companies from using the same or confusingly similar phrase in the context of beer consumption.

Copyright? Not Likely

The only place copyright might apply is if you produce a scripted video of Jeff shotgunning the Busch Light. The script, audio, and visuals would be protected as creative works. But that protection is limited to the specific expression, not the underlying method.

Practical Steps for Aspiring Patent Holders

1. Document the Invention: Keep detailed drawings, schematics, and test results.
2. Conduct a Prior Art Search: Look for existing patents or publications that might overlap.
3. Hire a Patent Attorney: They can navigate the complex filing process.
4. File a Provisional Application: Secure an early filing date while refining the invention.
5. Prepare for Examination: Be ready to argue novelty and non-obviousness.

Remember, the patent office is a tough nut to crack. The odds of getting a patent for a simple shotgunning method are slim, but a well‑engineered device could stand a chance.

Technological Impact: Why It Matters

The intersection of celebrity culture, intellectual property law, and a seemingly trivial pastime like shotgunning reveals larger trends:

• Innovation in Everyday Activities: Even routine tasks can be reimagined with technology.
• Celebrity Branding Power: A single name can command a market niche.
• Legal Evolution: Patent law adapts to new forms of creative expression.

For bartenders, tech enthusiasts, and legal scholars alike, the question is less about whether you can patent a shotgunning method, and more about how we define invention in the age of social media influencers.

Conclusion

So, can you patent the art of shotgunning a Busch Light with Jeff Goldblum? The short answer: Not the action alone. But you can patent a novel device that enhances the experience, trademark the brand name, and copyright any accompanying creative content. The legal maze is complex, but with the right strategy—and perhaps a little Hollywood flair—you can turn a bar trick into a protected intellectual property.

Next time you see Jeff in the corner, raise a glass and remember: every sip is an opportunity to innovate. Cheers!