There will be much I untangle and write about in the coming weeks, but I genuinely feel as if I did the best I could to help my mom. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
The last 48 hours have been a nightmare. I got a call Thursday night at around 1:38 am from Jade, who was crying. In the background, I heard Mike’s yelling, glass breaking, and things being thrown. The abuse had escalated yet again.
Mom had already called the police, and I followed up with a call of my own to ensure they responded. Mike packed his stuff and fled the state. On one hand, he faced immense pressure, but on the other, it’s unacceptable to abuse my mother and sister and then abandon mom when she was in real danger due to her current mental and physical state.
Mike knew that mom wasn’t taking her meds at IU Indy after her surgery, and they both lied to get her released. This decision is baffling, especially after we had to have mom arrested and taken to the hospital the previous Tuesday before her emergency cancer surgery. Refusing antibiotics post-surgery is dangerous and could have severe consequences.
Tuesday night, I stayed up coordinating help for mom. She was threatening Jade and believed she was being poisoned by her antibiotics. On the advice of a close family friend, I called the local crisis unit. It became a chaotic scene with 20-30 people involved. Mom was deemed mentally unfit by EMTs but still refused care. She had been calling everyone in her address book, reaching out as far as California for help.
Mike was unreachable during all this, and they never got the Power of Attorney notarized, which added to the complications. A family friend finally convinced mom to go to the ER, and after many hours, she was there. I kept several family friends updated while managing my work responsibilities.
The kicker is that Mike got her released from the hospital again, leading us back to a dangerous situation. I fear that someone might end up seriously harmed or in jail.
If Mike hadn’t returned, I would have pursued an emergency guardianship order, ensuring mom got the necessary care. But now, Mike is portraying me as the antagonist, despite my efforts to help. It’s infuriating to be painted as the bad guy when I’ve been the only one actually helping.
I’ve had my moments of frustration, and while I’ve said things I regret, my primary focus has always been on getting mom the help she needs. I’ve made the difficult decision to go no contact for my own mental health and well-being.
I know my mom isn’t in her right mind, and the hurtful things she’s said to me will take time to heal. But I can’t continue to be part of this chaotic and harmful situation. For my own sanity, I need to step back.
To Mike, it’s crucial to understand the impact of your actions. It’s not right to berate and attack those who are trying to help. Genuine support means working together to ensure mom’s well-being, not creating more chaos and conflict. Your actions have not only hindered mom’s recovery but have also caused unnecessary stress and harm to those around her.
We all need to be there for mom in a way that truly supports her recovery and well-being. This means making difficult decisions, prioritizing her health, and not letting personal conflicts get in the way. It’s about coming together as a family, despite our differences, to do what’s best for her.
In conclusion, while I wish things were different, I can’t continue to be part of this situation. I need to prioritize my mental health and safety.
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